Read on, read on... sorry about the bad layout, from time to time the blog goes funny. Try downloading FireFox to fix any problems with viewing the site. I keep the blog to maintain memories I'm likely to forget and share them with the world. Typing stuff is also easier than writing with a pen and saves paper:) You can select which blog subject I've written under on the left, although most things will be Thoughts and Feelings or Rant (its too easy to rant about stuff)

Showing posts with label News Articles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label News Articles. Show all posts

Saturday, February 09, 2008

New workout plan needed: suggestions welcome!

'Sexercise' yourself into shape

The NHS has some new advice for people struggling to schedule a fitness routine into their daily lives - a workout between the sheets.

According to the NHS Direct website, "sexercise" can lower the risk of heart attacks and helps people live longer.

Endorphins released during orgasm stimulate immune system cells, which also helps target illnesses like cancer, as well as wrinkles, it states.

Sexual health experts said such claims could not be scientifically proven.

"It's good to see the NHS are promoting sexual wellbeing," Dr Melissa Sayer told the Guardian newspaper.

"Yes, there is evidence that sex has benefits for mental wellbeing, but to say there is a link with reduced risk of heart disease and cancer is taking the argument too far."

NHS Direct, however, told the paper the content was "backed by science and clinical evidence" and "isn't just a bit of fun".

'Regular romps'

The advice, published under the headline "Get more than zeds in bed", is one of several sexual health-related articles to be found on the NHS Direct website.

Sex with a little energy and imagination provides a workout worthy of an athlete, the article says.

"Forget about jogging round the block or struggling with sit-ups.

"Sex uses every muscle group, gets the heart and lungs working hard, and burns about 300 calories an hour."

The advice suggests "regular romps this winter" could lead to a better body and a younger look.

Increased production of endorphins "will make your hair shine and your skin smooth," it adds.

"If you're worried about wrinkles - orgasms even help prevent frown lines from deepening."

The article goes on to say that orgasms release "painkillers" into the bloodstream, which helping keep mild illnesses like colds and aches and pains at bay.

The production of extra oestrogen and testosterone hormones "will keep your bones and muscles healthy, leaving you feeling fabulous inside and out".

Saturday, August 25, 2007

The Sun: 60-year-old humped to death

The things the tabloids print these days:



60-year-old humped to death


By JAMES CLOTHIER
August 20, 2007


A WOMAN was crushed to death by her randy pet camel, police said yesterday.

The 24-stone animal knocked the 60-year-old to the ground then laid on top of her.

The woman’s shocked husband — who bought the ten-month-old camel for his wife’s 60th birthday in March — found her body at the family sheep and cattle ranch in Australia.

The victim, who has not been named, had a “love of exotic pets” and was about to feed her animals at the Outback ranch near Brisbane, Queensland.

Cops said the camel stamped on her, leaving “one definite footprint” on her face and one on her arm.

Detective Senior Constable Craig Gregory said: “She had tea on, and a cup of tea was in the kitchen.

“She was just doing her afternoon chores of feeding all the other animals. The camel was young and had been hand-reared. It drinks out of a bottle and eats out of your hand.

“It’s probably been playing, or it may be even a sexual sort of thing.

“It has either smothered her or brought on a heart turn.”

The camel had a history of odd behaviour and had tried to suffocate a pet goat. Its fate was not known.

Camel expert Chris Hill believed the camel’s behaviour was sexual and warned they can be dangerous if treated as pets without discipline



Sorry, I laughed. LOL (in the literal sense)

Monday, July 16, 2007

Run down the shops, get the Mail On Sunday, please.

Like I'd ever actually buy it without a good reason!

But what do you know, yesterday was only the Sunday when *symbol* (that is, Prince) released his new album as a covermount, absolutely free. And guess what? Everyone, even those who don't read TMoS has bought up every single copy of the paper! What a downright dirty trick just to get people to read your paper, you bastards!

Had I not bought the Times on Saturday we'd be lacking a TV guide right now.
Anyone with a copy of the album that isn't a fan of Prince, can I please have your copy? Thanks.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Sunday 'news' round up (because entertainment isn't actually news)

I'm voting Tory if I live in Hampshire (The Sun) because of the error in Mr Forse's election campaign, Vote Forse X (as in the X to vote, right?!), also seen as 'vote for sex'.
How unfortunate it must be to have the surname Forse, yet again, so very funny

Paris Hilton 'stole' UB40's Kingston Town (The Mail). I don't expect anything too original for her anyway. And in comparison, they do sound very much alike, included the word pattern in the first verse.

Also in The Mail I'm pissed to see that Gwyneth Paltrow is compared against herself from he baby fat days to today - she looks worse after.


I'd hit the one on the left - ain't nothing wrong with some cushion!

I can't knock The Mail and be unfair though.

Tanya Jones did reportage on what its like to go to a Big Brother audition. She lied through a lot of it, but its interesting what Big Brother actually wants to know about you, particularly your sex life.


How old was I when I lost my virginity? What was my most memorable sexual experience? How many sexual partners have I had? Would I sleep with someone for money? Have I ever posed naked? It is a giant, tawdry fishing trip to round up the broken and the vulnerable.

I am told to bring my passport, birth certificate, a utility bill, a bank statement and a receipt that confirms I have requested my criminal record form from the police. I arrive at the restaurant and see the young man holding the item they'd described. I tell him the password, like a spy with a very naff mission. "Welcome," he says.


I think I've read other stories by her too, she's a bit good!

Although I would never buy The Mail, I'm glad I read that extract.

Johnny Knoxville is being sued for not paying someone to put their genitals, shall we say, in a mouse trap as a stunt. (BBC)
The footage also made it onto the internet. Why would you do it in the first place if you see someone is recording you? Why do it in the first place?

A new Frasier, aka, the posh equivalent of Friends is coming (Guardian)
I always liked the slightly overpaid Kelsey Grammer aka Sideshow Bob's upper-class sitcom. Although not as popular as Friends, it was on the same level, in my opinion. I don't think this will be the same though.


That's it for now, I hope I enlightened the world with what I've been reading.

Monday, April 02, 2007

I have to say, I slightly agree with what The Mail has to say - kids imitating TV programmes?

We damn well know its true, especially if you have to go into secondary schools and see it for yourself. The bits I agree with are highlighted.

Is this TV comedienne creating a generation of classroom louts?

By LAURA CLARK, Education Reporter

Children are bringing the loutish behaviour they see on TV into the classroom, say teachers.

They believe shows such as The Catherine Tate Show and Little Britain are contributing to indiscipline in schools.

Some pupils had even re- enacted violence towards teachers they have seen in TV dramas.

Little Britain

Little Britain: 'The computer says no'

In her comedy programme, Catherine Tate plays an unruly teenager who repeatedly says, 'Am I bovvered?' and 'Whatever'. Pupils are using the catchphrases to answer back in class.

'Computer says No', a phrase beloved of David Walliams's apathetic character in Little Britain, is also used to be rude and disrespectful to teachers.

Staff believe an increase in aggressive and confrontational behaviour among children is 'directly linked' to TV viewing, according to a poll from The Association of Teachers and Lecturers.

Catchphases

One scene from Channel 4's school-based drama Teachers appeared to have triggered copycat attacks. 2Their behaviour directly reflects what they see on television," one teacher said.

"For example, when on the Teachers programme a member of staff was slapped, we had two examples of this in our school the next week.

"We had never had this before in 30 years. Where else would this have come from? They acted as though it was acceptable."

Another said: "Comments like "yeah whatever", are used to insult. There is also too much swearing on television."

"It is used so much that it has no dramatic impact in a programme so children use swearing in everyday language as if it is normal."

Primary teacher Ralph Surman is a member of the Government's School Behaviour Task Force whose recommendations led this week to further powers for teachers to discipline and restrain pupils.

He will tell the association's annual conference tomorrow, that pupils are now so 'saturated' with images of violence and selfishness from TV, that they are losing sight of the difference between fiction and reality.

He said last night that characters in TV soaps "always have low aspirations, they are uncaring, they don't treat individuals very well - you've got anger and domestic violence".

Catherine Tate

Not bovvered: Catherine Tate

"Children particularly cannot separate fantasy from reality - that's why I call it soap opera syndrome. They don't know what is real and what is not real. They all carry on like they are in Big Brother."

He will call on the union to highlight the 'over-stimulation' of children by the media.

The association warned that disruptive behaviour had become a 'rampant problem'. It said more than 56 per cent of staff had considered quitting the profession because of it.

The poll found that 54 per cent knew of a colleague who had resigned because of the levels of misbehaviour, that more than one in three had been attacked by pupils, and that one in ten had been injured and gone to the doctor.

Sixty-one per cent had been verbally abused or threatened and 26 per cent subjected to 'intimidation'. Heads too often failed to back up teachers challenged by recalcitrant pupils.

Staff believe that parents expose children to inappropriate TV by allowing them to watch shows after the 9pm watershed, the survey found. Pupils who stay up late also arrive at school tired and unable to function.

The majority think that lax parental control is a 'major factor' behind problem behaviour in schools.

The influence of TV was also clearly seen in children's choice of future career. Twelve per cent of staff taught students who wanted to be crime scene investigators. Other popular choices included interior design, cooking and modelling.

Britney Spears - and even the TV character Ugly Betty - are more widely recognised by pupils than Tony Blair or Prince Charles, the survey said. Only two per cent of respondents believed TV had an entirely positive impact on children.

Those who believed its influence could be good for children, said that the row between Shilpa Shetty and Jade Goody on Big Brother had led to classroom citizenship debates.

One teacher complained that schools were forced to be 'jack of all trades, and master of none' because pupils with behavioural problems were kept on instead of being educated in special units.



Am I out of line if I say kids need to be slapped?? Am I out of line if I read the Mail's report? lol.

It doesn't take an idiot to see that its not only in the classroom, it comes out of the classroom and pours on the crowded buses on what I call the graveyard shift (pupils are zombies when they pile into a single-decker)

State of this bloody country... sorry, my Daily Mail readership just came out of me!

Finding the April Fools in the papers.

Hmm... some are, some aren't. I think...?

Council inspectors to demand £5 'carbon offset' for barbecues - Mail On Sunday

Obese patients 'increasing back pain among nurses' - Indie
By Karl Mansfield
Published: 02 April 2007

A rise in the number of obese patients on wards could be causing thousands of NHS nurses to seek treatment for back pain, according to experts.

About 5,000 nurses are currently being treated for back pain following a surge in patients' weights and the number of patients a nurse has to care for, according to the British Chiropractic Association.

Dr Matthew Bennett, a member of the BCA who has been a chiropractor for 20 years, said: "There are thousands of nurses with work-related back pain and I think this could increase in the future.

"A lot do not turn up in official statistics because it affects employment status.

"The weight of patients is a contributory factor to back pain. It's not just a weight issue - it's a fitness issue with people unable to turn themselves over easily."

Dr Tim Hutchful, another BCA chiropractor who has been practising 18 years, said: "I think the number of nurses with back pain will probably increase in the future as people get bigger.

Unions also say workloads and a rise in patients' weight are impacting heavily on the health of NHS staff.

Barrie Brown, Amicus' Lead Officer for Nursing, said: "We are aware of this as an extensive problem because muscular skeletal problems are the biggest reason for people retiring on grounds of ill health from the NHS."

A spokeswoman for the Department of Health said: "The department advises that staff should avoid manual handling. No one working in a hospital, nursing home, or community setting should need to put their safety at risk when lifting patients manually. Manual handling of patients should only continue if it does not involve a risk of injury from lifting most or all of a patient's weight."

LOL

Detectives on trail of the daffodil destroyer - Telegraph

Blair: I'll be treading the boards again - Observer
Prime Minister agrees to take role in The Crucible after an approach from his friend Kevin Spacey


Pahli Tarikh
Sunday April 1, 2007
The Observer

Tony Blair has agreed to resurrect his interest in acting when he leaves Number 10 after he was approached about a major stage role by his close friend, the artistic director of the Old Vic, Kevin Spacey, The Observer can reveal.

With speculation growing over the exact date of his departure from Downing Street and how he will handle life as an ex-Prime Minister, Blair appears to have taken Gordon Brown and his closest Westminster friends by surprise with the plan to star in an autumn production of Arthur Miller's The Crucible. It is likely to be a sell-out.

Article continues
A proof copy of the theatre programme, obtained by The Observer and likely to become a collector's item, contains a cast list showing Tony Blair's name against the part of Reverend John Hale. Miller's classic play is ostensibly based on the 17th-century Salem witch trials and warns of the dangers of religious fundamentalism. Reverend Hale is a renowned expert on witchcraft and proves a noble character.

Kevin Spacey told The Observer: 'We're always looking out for talent in unexpected places. When I first approached Tony at the Labour conference he just laughed. Then he looked at me and said: "Seriously?"

'Tony is taking this role to heart as much as any big political speech. His skills in oratory and his ability to command an audience are well known, but he would be the first to admit that acting involves a lot more. He's going through some intensive sessions with our acting coach and we're confident that he'll be ready for the first night. I'm pretty excited about it.'

The Prime Minister, whose father-in-law, Tony Booth, is an actor, showed an early interest in drama at Fettes College where he played the role of Stanhope in RC Sheriff's First World War drama Journey's End. He has since had a bit part in a Russian soap opera, voiced a cartoon version of himself welcoming The Simpsons to Britain and appeared in a sketch with Catherine Tate for last month's Comic Relief, his deadpan delivery of the line 'Am I bovvered?' winning plaudits from the viewers and BBC executives.

As a result he is believed to have received numerous offers to send himself up in the finale of Ricky Gervais's Extras, a new Only Fools and Horses Christmas special and a proposed Doctor Who storyline in which a Prime Minister goes back in time to correct his past mistakes.

But according to a Downing Street source, Blair is determined to be taken seriously. 'The PM has always been a good actor but wants to show he's more flexible than a two-minute "Look, I'm Tony Blair" cameo played for laughs,' an insider said.

'When he puts his mind to something he's determined to master every detail, every skill and emotion. I think Al Gore's Oscar [for the documentary An Inconvenient Truth] has shown him there is life after politics.'

Blair's rapport with Spacey was evident when they appeared together on Michael Parkinson's television chat show last year, where the host told Blair: 'At your school... you were called the best actor of your generation.'

It is not known how Blair's wife Cherie has reacted to his new choice of career but the Prime Minister is said to be already running through his lines with his former director of communications, Alastair Campbell.

Some MPs have, however, expressed concern. One senior cabinet minister, who did not wish to be named, said: 'An ambassador arrived at Number 10 the other day to find Tony dressed like a Puritan, waving a crucifix in the air and shouting about chasing out the devil. Fortunately the ambassador had studied The Crucible at UCL.'

Additional reporting by Primera Delmes


Most reporter's names work on anagrams of 'April'
I think that's all. Hmm.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Narrow escape as glass pane falls from Leicester Square window

You heard it here first.

3.35pm
While the publice were happily distracted by the filming of a new BBC comedy being filmed in the centre of the square, people's concentration was broken by the sound of a loud crash from the opposite end.
While most of the square is mostly a pedestrian zone, the idea of a car crash seems impossible around the West End.

Following the direction of the crash revealed a glass pane had fallen from about the third floor window above Burger King to the ground below, where customers walk in and out.


Amazingly, noone was hurt in the freak accident. All that remains is the mangled glass frame on the ground and a perimeter of shattered glass.
Dazzled office workers stared outside from their desks.

Witnesses said they saw the glass pane as it fell to the ground. An off-duty BBC cameraman captured some of the scene after it had happened on film.
A first aid worker on the scene said there were no casualties.

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Friday, October 27, 2006

Pensions company takes the piss

Just because I turned twenty the other day doesn't give the Pensions Comany the right to make me feel my age.
Sure, I've left my teens, I feel slightly older, etc, but reminding me of my pension scheme is a fackin' liberty!

All I want right now is my provisional license posted back and to be a little more paid, then I'd be slightly happier.

Meanwhile, I saw this on the BBC site and it made me laugh an evil laugh...

Pelican swallows pigeon in park
Families and tourists in a London park were left shocked when a pelican picked up and swallowed a pigeon.

The unusual wildlife spectacle in St James's Park was caught on camera by photographer Cathal McNaughton.

He said the Eastern White pelican had the unfortunate pigeon in its beak for more than 20 minutes before swallowing it whole.

An RSPB spokesman said: "It is almost unheard of for a pelican to eat a bird. Their diet should be strictly fish."

Mr McNaughton, from the Press Association, said: "The pelican was on the towpath preening itself, and there were a lot of tourists watching it.

"Then the bird got up and strolled along until it reached one of the pigeons, which it just grabbed in its beak.

"There was a bit of a struggle for about 20 minutes, with all these people watching. The pelican only opened its mouth a couple of times.

"Then it managed to get the pigeon to go head first down its throat. It was kicking and flapping the whole way down."

There are currently five pelicans living near Duck Island in St James's Park - four Eastern Whites and one Louisiana Brown.

Pelicans were introduced into the park during King Charles II's reign as a gift from the Russian ambassador.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

BBC reveals my university has lowest statistic of happy pupils!!

'Most students' happy with course
Four fifths of university students across the UK are happy with their courses, a survey suggests.

According to the Higher Education Funding Council for England (Hefce), the Open University had the highest satisfaction rate, with 95%.

It was followed by Buckingham (94%) and St Andrews (92%). The lowest university ratings were 67% for Thames Valley and 68% for Lincoln.


It turns out then, that my moaning about some of the tutors and lessons being a little mundane are reflected by others.

Well done my fellow outspoken academics-to-be. Our voices are being heard!

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

So this is how it is... life update

Man, you can really lose touch with bloggin' can'tcha?
I like to feel I've been a busy boy, but that's not the best truth to it. Its really just the heat England's experiencing.

Let's see. Forgive any errors, drinking the last of the fridge's beers. Just bullet pointing my life for the sake of remembering later:

  • The World Cup is over (forza Italia!). Penalties in any final is dramatic, so watching it was siccck!
  • I did a string of assemblies at Magna Carta School for next year's dance classes. Waking up at 6am to get an eeeaarllyyy bus to Egham. It's not good. But I'm hardcore. Gotta keep up appearances
  • Also took a dance class all by myself at another school. Daunting, tiring, but I did it. Would never do it again... well, maybe, for the rush you get, but not too often
  • Uh, more dance, with the English Eurovision entry, going over the dance routine. GET BACK UP!
  • Went and saw the Urdang first and second year show. What a densly populated hottie place to be. I witnessed the most beautiful girls one will ever see in their life. Then went Leicester Square and got into a club free, where the Urdang students took over most of the club.
  • Got a night bus back to Kingston from London (with Matt). A fella got on a 285 from Kingston bus station and threatened people on the bus (sat down in his seat, might I add, but still made verbal threats to kill people), which I completely ignored. He called people who got on the bus at the next busstops "battymans" and I had to bite my finger I was laughing so hard! He must have been on drugs or something. Got off at Sainsbury's and the fucker began to follow us. Through some fields! "Where are you taking mee?" he groans. He had a bag with him, and it was 5am, so we figured it was best to run and take a shortcut, not knowing what he might be carrying (syringes, knives, etc). Fucker.
  • Did a 2hr UDS class later on that same day/morning. Went home and collapsed.

NOW I've an empty house.
Ma familia have gone on holiday, and left me to look after the house. Not that I'm bitter. I have it all here, a full fridge, widescreen TV, DVDs, Gamecube hookup. I just have owt to do, and it gets extremely boring. There's only so much time you can sit in front of a PC before it gets tremendously shit.

Which is why I shall leave my life update here.

Monday, July 17, 2006

BBC NEWS: Teenagers 'choosing motherhood'

That's something I didn't expect to ever see: Teenage girls in the deprived parts of England choosing to become mothers, rather then end up in 'dead end' jobs. "The study, for the Joseph Rowntree Foundation suggested girls as young as 13 choose motherhood to be independent and to create "a loving family".The researchers said their findings show teenagers are not ignorant about contraception, as is often assumed, and actively plan to have a baby."

Read more at news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/hea...

Sunday, July 09, 2006

A welcome move for C. Ronaldo

It's damn straight Cristiano is making these statements, because sure as hell he doesn't want to be coming back to England to play.Setting his beefs aside with Rooney, fair enough, but he's dug his own grave about returning back to England to play for Man Utd.I quote from the report: "I think I should get out of Manchester as the circumstances are not right to keep playing there," said Ronaldo. Ronaldo has three years left on his United contract. Be gone, puta.

Read more at news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/h...

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Poledancing classes?

Maybe I should think twice about my attitude towards women as sex objects, according to what the BBC's report on it says....

Pole dancing is now promoted as a legitimate form of exercise, and dance, but is it really just about keeping fit? ... More>>

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/4939752.stm

Maybe its just to separate the weak from the strong...

Friday, February 17, 2006

LOL- Pencil in penis backfires

Is this too funny to be true??:
http://www.shoutwire.com/viewstory/5058/pencil_in_penis


A Serbian man needed emergency surgery after sticking a pencil inside his penis to keep it stiff during sex.

Zeljko Tupic, from Belgrade, told doctors he had experienced erectile difficulties in the past.

So as he prepared for a night with his new lover, he decided to insert a thin pencil into his penis.

Tupic had to cut his sex session short when the pencil shifted and became lodged in his bladder, forcing him to call an ambulance, the daily Kurir reported.

Doctor Aleksandar Milosevic from Belgrade's Zvezdara hospital, who succesfully removed the pencil, said: "At first the patient did not tell us what really happened, but x-rays proved the truth.

"Tupic said he had no idea there were things like Viagra available but agreed that in future he will try pills before he takes any more chances with pencils."


Google




Cam'ron Plans To Confront Pedophiles And Release It On DVD

Cam'Ron vs. Pedophiles

Monday - February 13, 2006

Andres Tardio

Cam's beef with Jay-Z caused a stir, but now Cam's got a new target.

Inspired by MSNBC, Cam is ready to take on pedophiles and will film his confrontations for a special DVD he will release later this year.

"I saw a special that MSNBC had done one time on [adults] on the Internet thinking they're talking to 13- or 14-year-olds," he said of his new adventure. c
The events on the DVD will mirror those on the MSNBC special with a unique Cam'Ron twist.

"We set up a similar situation where we are videotaping people thinking they're gonna meet little kids," he added. "When they get there, it's gonna be me and [my manger] Big Joe like, 'What the hell are you doing, you damn pervert? What the f--- is wrong with you, coming to meet a 13-year-old boy?' We're gonna talk to them and not let them leave until we find out what's wrong with them."

According to Cam, the crew has already caught a couple of men and hopes to catch more for the DVD, which will be released in October. Reports also indicate that Cam
will not have police involvement in the still-untitled DVD.

Oh, and what about the pending jail-time for not cooperating with police about his shooting?

"I'm being penalized for a shooting that went public that I'm a victim of," he said of the incident. "I'm not crying about it, because the law is the law. I was supposed to get permission. You're right, I did slip up and did go, but I don't really [like] how the case is being handled."

Source:
VH1

http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/news/id.3890

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