Finding the April Fools in the papers.

Hmm... some are, some aren't. I think...?

Council inspectors to demand £5 'carbon offset' for barbecues - Mail On Sunday

Obese patients 'increasing back pain among nurses' - Indie
By Karl Mansfield
Published: 02 April 2007

A rise in the number of obese patients on wards could be causing thousands of NHS nurses to seek treatment for back pain, according to experts.

About 5,000 nurses are currently being treated for back pain following a surge in patients' weights and the number of patients a nurse has to care for, according to the British Chiropractic Association.

Dr Matthew Bennett, a member of the BCA who has been a chiropractor for 20 years, said: "There are thousands of nurses with work-related back pain and I think this could increase in the future.

"A lot do not turn up in official statistics because it affects employment status.

"The weight of patients is a contributory factor to back pain. It's not just a weight issue - it's a fitness issue with people unable to turn themselves over easily."

Dr Tim Hutchful, another BCA chiropractor who has been practising 18 years, said: "I think the number of nurses with back pain will probably increase in the future as people get bigger.

Unions also say workloads and a rise in patients' weight are impacting heavily on the health of NHS staff.

Barrie Brown, Amicus' Lead Officer for Nursing, said: "We are aware of this as an extensive problem because muscular skeletal problems are the biggest reason for people retiring on grounds of ill health from the NHS."

A spokeswoman for the Department of Health said: "The department advises that staff should avoid manual handling. No one working in a hospital, nursing home, or community setting should need to put their safety at risk when lifting patients manually. Manual handling of patients should only continue if it does not involve a risk of injury from lifting most or all of a patient's weight."

LOL

Detectives on trail of the daffodil destroyer - Telegraph

Blair: I'll be treading the boards again - Observer
Prime Minister agrees to take role in The Crucible after an approach from his friend Kevin Spacey


Pahli Tarikh
Sunday April 1, 2007
The Observer

Tony Blair has agreed to resurrect his interest in acting when he leaves Number 10 after he was approached about a major stage role by his close friend, the artistic director of the Old Vic, Kevin Spacey, The Observer can reveal.

With speculation growing over the exact date of his departure from Downing Street and how he will handle life as an ex-Prime Minister, Blair appears to have taken Gordon Brown and his closest Westminster friends by surprise with the plan to star in an autumn production of Arthur Miller's The Crucible. It is likely to be a sell-out.

Article continues
A proof copy of the theatre programme, obtained by The Observer and likely to become a collector's item, contains a cast list showing Tony Blair's name against the part of Reverend John Hale. Miller's classic play is ostensibly based on the 17th-century Salem witch trials and warns of the dangers of religious fundamentalism. Reverend Hale is a renowned expert on witchcraft and proves a noble character.

Kevin Spacey told The Observer: 'We're always looking out for talent in unexpected places. When I first approached Tony at the Labour conference he just laughed. Then he looked at me and said: "Seriously?"

'Tony is taking this role to heart as much as any big political speech. His skills in oratory and his ability to command an audience are well known, but he would be the first to admit that acting involves a lot more. He's going through some intensive sessions with our acting coach and we're confident that he'll be ready for the first night. I'm pretty excited about it.'

The Prime Minister, whose father-in-law, Tony Booth, is an actor, showed an early interest in drama at Fettes College where he played the role of Stanhope in RC Sheriff's First World War drama Journey's End. He has since had a bit part in a Russian soap opera, voiced a cartoon version of himself welcoming The Simpsons to Britain and appeared in a sketch with Catherine Tate for last month's Comic Relief, his deadpan delivery of the line 'Am I bovvered?' winning plaudits from the viewers and BBC executives.

As a result he is believed to have received numerous offers to send himself up in the finale of Ricky Gervais's Extras, a new Only Fools and Horses Christmas special and a proposed Doctor Who storyline in which a Prime Minister goes back in time to correct his past mistakes.

But according to a Downing Street source, Blair is determined to be taken seriously. 'The PM has always been a good actor but wants to show he's more flexible than a two-minute "Look, I'm Tony Blair" cameo played for laughs,' an insider said.

'When he puts his mind to something he's determined to master every detail, every skill and emotion. I think Al Gore's Oscar [for the documentary An Inconvenient Truth] has shown him there is life after politics.'

Blair's rapport with Spacey was evident when they appeared together on Michael Parkinson's television chat show last year, where the host told Blair: 'At your school... you were called the best actor of your generation.'

It is not known how Blair's wife Cherie has reacted to his new choice of career but the Prime Minister is said to be already running through his lines with his former director of communications, Alastair Campbell.

Some MPs have, however, expressed concern. One senior cabinet minister, who did not wish to be named, said: 'An ambassador arrived at Number 10 the other day to find Tony dressed like a Puritan, waving a crucifix in the air and shouting about chasing out the devil. Fortunately the ambassador had studied The Crucible at UCL.'

Additional reporting by Primera Delmes


Most reporter's names work on anagrams of 'April'
I think that's all. Hmm.