Off Tha Hook! Round ONE

O yes! Sky channel 372! Coming to your set-top box soon!
Just Fabulous TV presents: Off Tha Hook!

$25,000 in prize money goes to the winning contestant in another 'reality' TV dance off. So of course, U.D.S turned up!

Advertising: Doors open 9am, get there early to beat the queues.
Reality: Doors open an hour late; 20 people turned up! One cameraman there taking shots of the few who turned up. I hope he didn't let the horizon creep into the shot, or they'd be exposed!

I suppose you should be light on a new TV station, it is in its early stages yet. But I'm not that type of person.
Time. Effort. Energy. We got up extra early to make it to Fabric, London an hour before. Running about are staff looking a little unsure about how to deal with public relations.
Well, it has to be the worst audition I've shown up for. All contestants were assigned a number. Not that any of them were above 20. We filled the main hall in the basement (I use the word 'filled' lightly). Some got down to going over their counts. Others moved to the sound of the boombox blasting out the specially composed tracks to dance to (they now play over and over in a loop in my head).

At around 11, the producer came out to say everything was find and he expected things on track in about 45 minutes. After 45, we didn't hear from him again.
No.10, Kayla, our dancer entering the competition was called up around midday, only to be told we were on lunch half an hour later.
Some people were still arriving. I was envious of those who got more sleep than I did that day.
Evidently, Just Fabulous TV are a bit of a fuck up. I'm not sure what the thinking was behind stretching twenty 10 minute auditions MAXIMUM across a whole day. I can only imagine how long the latecomers were there for.

Pre-audition interviews were recorded at some point in the day by Mis-teeq's backup dancer, Zena. I forget in which order, as every sequence of events have molded themselves together in my mind.

It was around 5pm Kayla got in to be filmed in front of the judges. She also needed to do two takes. What bullshit.

Long story short, we got through the first audition, our shit was hot anyway, but had to put up with a lot of shit from the producer who was fabric-ating (gettit?) a load of lies because not enough people turned up! Even I was asked if I'd like to audition!
We all knew we could do it. But this was only round one...