Kneeboarding - watersport for suckers

Thursday- a day, I wasn't entirely looking towards. Kneeboarding - that's waterskiing on your knees - was the proposed activity for the U-Day-S.
A big event, I suppose, for those who enjoy getting wet!

The details were, anyway, a large lake in Bedfont, and you get dragged around on a small surfboard.
The actual place is a different. For example, I thought you were dragged around by a motorboat until you fell of, but the lake in fact has a system of ropes and pulleys that drag cords at each corner. Like a ski lift. Clever.

I thought okay, but on closer inspection, these lakes (reservoirs, really, as they're man-made) are foul-smelling, stagnant puddles in the middle of undeveloped land. Ugh. A dead coot (a duck) lay not too far from the banks.

Of course, I just HAD to (sarcasm) have a go at this death sport. I made sure to rent a wetsuit to prevent poison water getting near my clean genitals! Helmets were also issued in case of collisions.

Now luckily for us, we got to use the big lake. Unfortunately, this meant fewer banks to climb back on land.

First few goes I didn't pass the first straight - why complain, its a bloody long walk! The water also has a strong taste of duckshit. I didn't taste it on purpose, the speed I hit the water resulted in me ingesting it...
I finally managed to pass the first corner, one of life's little achievements, and the second, before I sunk. My muscles cramped in the cold water, so I doggy paddled to the nearest bank I could see - the one that leads nowhere!
I only wanted to sit on the bank and rub my sore muscles, but next I heard a motorboat pulling up... I can't say I felt embarrassed by getting a free ride back, but I think the safety person thought I was an idiot who didn't listen to the pre-surf talk (I did)

The whole occasion was too much. Kneeboarding is damn painful business. I had cramp in my thighs from kneeling, shoulders were stiff, and my wetsuit prevented me breathing.
I went into the bathrooms and vomited.
Too much duckshit swallowed, I reckon.
Dont do it

------
Message sent off a mobile device